Zen Sarcasm

Tomorrow’s POET’S Day.  Don’t forget to celebrate.  Just keep the Frost and Byron recitations down to a low roar!  Thank you.  Meanwhile, I trust everyone will enjoy these wise profundities!
 
Patrick The Poet
  

Zen Sarcasm

 

1. Do not walk behind me, for I

may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may
 
notfollow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
 
much leave me alone.

 
2. The journey of a thousandmiles
 
begins with a broken fan belt or a
 
leaky tire.

 
3. It’s always darkest beforedawn , so if you’re going
 
to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to
 
do it.

 
4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you
 
can’t be promoted.

 
5. Always remember that you’re
 
unique. Just like everyone else.

 
6. Never test the depth of the water
 
with both feet.

 
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try
 
missing a couple of car payments.

 
8. Before you criticize someone, you
 
should walk a mile in their shoes.
 
That way, when you criticizethem,
 
you’re a mile away and you have
 
their shoes.

 
9. If at first you don’t succeed….,
skydiving is not for you.
 
 
 
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat
 
for a day. Teach him how to fish,
 
and he will sit in a boat and drink
 
beer all day.

 
11. If you tell the truth, you don’t
 
have to remember anything.

 
12. Some days you’re the bug, some
 
days you’re the windshield.

 
13. Everyone seems normal until you
 
get to know them.

 
14. The quickest way to double your
 
money is to fold it in half and put
 
it back in your pocket.

 
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

 
16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It
 
has a light side and a dark side,
 
and it holds the universe together.

 
17. There are two theories to arguing
 
with a woman – Neither one works.

 
18. Generally speaking, you aren’t
 
learning much when your lips are
 
moving.

 
19. Experience is something you don’t
 
get until just after you need it.


20. Never, under any circumstances,take a sleeping
 
pill and a laxative.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: