Zen Sarcasm

Tomorrow’s POET’S Day.  Don’t forget to celebrate.  Just keep the Frost and Byron recitations down to a low roar!  Thank you.  Meanwhile, I trust everyone will enjoy these wise profundities!
Patrick The Poet

Zen Sarcasm


1. Do not walk behind me, for I

may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may
notfollow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousandmiles
begins with a broken fan belt or a
leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest beforedawn , so if you’re going
to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to
do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you
can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re
unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water
with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try
missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you
should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticizethem,
you’re a mile away and you have
their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed….,
skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat
for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink
beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t
have to remember anything.

12. Some days you’re the bug, some
days you’re the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your
money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It
has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing
with a woman – Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren’t
learning much when your lips are

19. Experience is something you don’t
get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances,take a sleeping
pill and a laxative.

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