Excerpts from a Dog & Cat’s Diary‏

This is very cute, be sure to read past the dog’s diary to read the counter points by the cat…..those of you that are animal lovers will get a kick out this! 

Best to all,

Patrick


Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……

cid:1.16823410@web50510.mail.re2.yahoo.com

      

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30  am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite  thing!

12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!

 1:00 pm –  Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

 3:00 pm – Wagged my  tail! My favorite thing!

 5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite  thing!

 7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite  thing!

 8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite  thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

         

 

    and Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…

cid:2.16823411@web50510.mail.re2.yahoo.com   

        

Day 983 of my captivity…

 

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre  little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

 

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

 

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

 

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.  Bastards.

 

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my  confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

 

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

 

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  

For now…!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: