Excerpts from a Dog & Cat’s Diary‏

This is very cute, be sure to read past the dog’s diary to read the counter points by the cat…..those of you that are animal lovers will get a kick out this! 

Best to all,


Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……



8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30  am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite  thing!

12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!

 1:00 pm –  Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

 3:00 pm – Wagged my  tail! My favorite thing!

 5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite  thing!

 7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite  thing!

 8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite  thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



    and Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…



Day 983 of my captivity…


My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre  little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.


Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.


The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.  Bastards.


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my  confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.


Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.


The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  

For now…!

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