MOVING MASTERS: TIME FOR SOME FUN HUMOR!

I AM THAT PERSONPLEASE SHARE EVERYWHERE & BE HAPPY!

You don’t have to hire a huge, big-name moving company to receive the best moving service possible.  If anything, hiring one of the “biggies” will only cost you more and deprive you of the personalized, hands-on caring, efficient service you deserve.  And this is the service we provide here at MOVING MASTERS.

We are an American and family-owned business providing the best flat-rate long distance moving service throughout New York, Tri-State and east coast regions.  Our job is making the job of moving your home or business the fastest, most efficient, less expensive and careful, caring job possible.  We remove the stress and take care of all the rest!

Besides all this, we also employ the friendliest staff and crews who treat you like family and even have a sense of humor to help make the whole moving process a fun experience.  Really!  To confirm this fact, here is some humor for all our friends and customers to enjoy this fine Thursday in America!  Enjoy and remember…

“Prevent a Disaster! Call Moving Masters and Move It Faster!!”
Call: 855-MOVITEZ (855-668-4839) – movingmasterss@gmail.com
Website: http://www.movingmasters.net

SOME HUMOR FOR YOU:

“Time is a circus, always packing up and moving further away.”

MOVING OUT:
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says,”What are you doing?” She answers, “I’m moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!”

Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he’s going, he replies: “I’m going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!”

PUT FOOT IN MOUTH:
Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”

His wife replies, “Why thank you, dear!”

FOR WOMEN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR:
There are three blondes on an island, and they can’t find their way off. Also on the island is a genie. The genie says that he will grant them each one wish. So the first blonde wishes to be smart so she can get off the island. So the genie turns her into a red head, and she swims off the island. The second blonde wishes that she could be smarter than the first one, so the genie turns her into a brunet and she takes the boat off the island.

Finally, the last blonde wishes that she could be smarter than the first and second one combined, so the genie turns her into a man and he takes the bridge off the island!

MOVING MASTERS: YOU READY FOR SOME HUMOR?

easter chick magnetPLEASE SHARE WITH ALL YOUR FUNNY-BONE FRIENDS!

All of us at MOVING MASTERS are looking forward to the approach of summer and becoming even more busy moving happy customers and their homes and offices throughout the New York, Tri-State and east coast region. Our flat-rate, long distance moving company can’t wait to move you safely, quickly and efficiently…and with complete honesty and care.

Call on us and don’t be shy! We’re here to help you and make your move a safe, stress-free and efficient one. Today, however, here on FB, we’re ready to share some great humor with you. Please enjoy and remember…”Prevent a Disaster! Call Moving Masters and Move It Faster!!” Drop on by our website and contact us! Here: http://www.movingmasters.net

SOME HUMOR FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY:

1. Escalators don’t break down…they just turn into stairs
2. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing…except when you’re at a funeral.
3. I intend to live forever…or die trying.
4. We never knew he was a drunk…until he showed up to work sober.
5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
6. A blind man walks into a bar…And a table, and a chair.
7. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted? 8. Want to hear a pizza joke…nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it’s too lame.

Q. What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?
A. “I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.”

Q. How did the blonde die while drinking milk.
A.  The cow sat down.

Q. What did the cat say after eating two birds lying in the sun?
A. “I just love baskin’ robins.”

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: “Dam!”

TIME FOR SOME HUMOR FROM MOVING MASTERS!

DOG-BEARAll of us at MOVING MASTERS continue to enjoy our beautiful spring weather as we stay busy moving happy customers and their homes and offices throughout the New York and Tri-State area and up and down the east coast. We love our work and our customers, and being your flat-rate, long distance moving company is our greatest passion!

Call on us and don’t be shy! We’re here to help you and make your move a safe, stress-free and efficient one. Today, however, here on FB, we’re ready to share some great humor with you. Please enjoy and remember…”Prevent a Disaster! Call Moving Masters and Move It Faster!!” Drop on by our website and contact us! Here: http://www.movingmasters.net

SOME HUMOR FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL SPRING DAY:

Leave As You Came:

A woman walked into the pet shop and told the owner she needed a rat and a couple of cockroaches. “What do you need them for?” “Because,” said the woman, “I’m moving and my lease says that when I move out I must leave the place in the same condition as I found it!”

Not So Lazy:

As the owner of a large company I went down to check out how everything was going. I noticed some guy just chilling in the coffee room. “Just how much are you getting paid a week?” “Two hundred bucks!” Replied the young man. Taking out my wallet I give him two hundred bucks and say, “Here is a week’s pay and don’t come back!” Turning to one of the supervisors, I ask, “How long was that lazy bum working here anyways?” “He doesn’t work here,” said the supervisor. “He just walked in to ask directions!”

Tit for Tat:

A policeman pulled a man over for speeding and weaving and asked him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he said, “Sir, I can’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man got really mad and said, “Officer, I can’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”

She’s Got a Point:

A blonde was speeding down the highway when a police car pulled her over. The policeman walks up to the blonde and says, “Excuse me ma’am, could I please see your driver’s license?” The blonde looks at the policeman and says, “You cops are crazy. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you?!”

59 VETERANS PROJECT: TIME TO LAUGH & SHARE OUR POST!

SAVING KITTENSTIME TO LAUGH & SHARE OUR POST!

It’s going to be serious work that all of us here at the 59 VETERANS PROJECT when photographing and videographing our national parks while teaching our veterans this significant vocation and providing them with a new profession in life.

We look forward to our exciting project going forward soon. But in the meantime, at least for today, we want to share a little military humor with all our veterans and friends and everyone else who is following our project online–with a funny bone needing to be scratched! However, don’t forget to visit our main site (here: http://www.59veterans.com) to learn more about our project when you get the chance. But first, enjoy today’s post!

IDIOTS:

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.”

As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.

The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ’em, huh, sir?”

NOT SO COSMIC:

A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, “When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?”

The LT replies, “Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can’t help but wonder if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do you think of, Sergeant?”

“I think somebody stole our tent, sir!”

NO LINES:

“Well,” snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered seaman. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.”

“Not me, Chief!” the Seaman replied. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand in line again!”

DON’T MISS THIS EVENT WITH QUEEN OFIR!

SHARE THIS & DON’T MISS THIS EVENT!

For everyone in southern California, this is an event you must not miss!

I am proud to announce Queen Ofir is introducing a new high energy show on April 2nd at 8:00 p.m.  The night will bring hot music, stunning dancers and amazing sounds as you mingle with VIPs and the elite of Hollywood.  The event will be held at the exclusive and exciting CLUB RAIN 12215 Ventura Blvd. in Studio City.  There are $15 general admission tickets and a $30 VIP Package which includes a luxury gift bag.  All attendees will receive a slice of delicious cake and lots of fun and unforgettable entertainment!

Click on the link below to purchase your ticket:
 
or scan the QR code on the attached flyer.  Call me at 714-509-0916 if you have any questions or would like to be an event sponsor.  Unbelievable perks and marketing opportunities for your business can be yours!
 
With much success.

 

Mayor Ron Jones

CEO
Venue Universe LLC.
FLYER WITH COMEDIAN

CHECK OUT QUEEN OFIR–ACTRESS EXTRAORDINAIRE!

ACTING PHOTO OF OFIR

 

 

 

PLEASE  SHARE EVERYWHERE!

Queen Ofir (Ofir Engel) is not only a singer/songwriter and performing artist but also an establish film actor, having performed and starred in several films, commercials and music videos.

Ofir also produces, creates and edits creative videos for private individuals, celebrities and businesses. Queen Ofir is available for mainstream film roles in dramas, comedies and musicals, but also can star in your film as well as help create and produce it for you!

Talent, experience and passion, let Ofir bring your feature movie, music video or commercial film to the highest level of passionate success!

Check out her professional film career on IMDb: http://www.imdb.me/ofir
See some of her hot videos: http://www.youtube.com/queenofir
Catch her music here: rhttp://www.songcastmusic.com/profiles/ofir
Visit her fan site here: http://www.facebook.com/queenofir

And her website: http://www.queenofir.com/

Send inquiries and bookings to passionshowrecords@gmail.com or call 714-509-0916

ATTENTION, ACTORS AND WOULD-BE ACTORS!

THE BARRYMORES

ATTENTION, ACTORS AND WOULD-BE ACTORS!

Tomorrow night another Monday class will be conducted and directed by renowned actor and acting coach John Barrymore. His family lineage spans over 100 years of Hollywood film, stage and television. And John has skillfully extracted the best and proven concepts he has inherited and learned over the years.

It’s your career in a crowded field of competition, remember. However, each class session is unique and affords you benefits regardless when you’ve previously attended or what experience you have. Allow yourself to rise to greatness and success. Hone and perfect your acting skills to the next level!

For more info and to register, call Ofir at 949.526.4292. And don’t forget that Tuesday is a federal holiday. So it’s perfect to check out the class this Monday (tomorrow!). And remember that casting directors place talent based upon skills and resume. If they recognize you’ve been trained by John Barrymore or Lee Strasberg then they will be confident you will work well with any director, and in turn can get hired!

Visit the site here and then call Ofir! https://www.facebook.com/events/352047751639718/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming&sid_reminder=8399702398741774336

 

SOME HUMOR TO ENJOY & SHARE WITH YOUR NETWORK!

A LITTLE HOTDOGSOME HUMOR TO ENJOY & SHARE WITH YOUR NETWORK!

Hey, we’re MOVING MASTERS, your friendly, family-owned long distance moving company serving all the east coast, especially New York and Tri-State region. Our Columbus Day 6% off everything sale for all of October is in full swing and we can’t wait to hear from more of you!

Meanwhile, we ran across some fun jokes and wanted to share. Please enjoy and send to your friends and network. And remember two things: visit us online at http://www.movingmasters.net. Plus these immortal words from Alfred E. Neuman: “Prevent a Disaster!  Call Moving Masters and Move It Faster!!”

MORNING CONFESSIONAL:

Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire for a private confessional after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?”

She says, “That he did, Father.”

The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”

She replies, “He said, ‘Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'”

PARENTING:

A mother is cleaning her teenage daughter’s room when she finds a bondage magazine hidden under the bed. She shows it to her husband and asks him what he thinks they should do.

After flicking through the magazine her husband says, “To be honest I’m not sure, but I don’t think spanking her is going to help.”

A DOCTOR’S LECTURE:

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

“Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”

TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!

TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!

It’s Friday and you love going out dancing, partying and listening to great music and watching top artists perform.  Well, tonight Queen Ofir will be performing and celebrating her new CD Release at the California Dreaming “Super Event.”

Happening at 333 S. Boylston St., LA 90017 @ W. 4th Street (by LA Live ) in Downtown Los Angeles, it is the VM Designs Fashion Show benefiting Miller Children’s Hospital.  A host of other headlining entertainers and beautiful models and celebrities will be at the event, and it’s one you definitely don’t want to miss!

Join Queen Ofir and her friends at this Super Event tonight at 7:00 p.m., and bring your own friends and dancing, partying spirit!  Join in the festive fun and awesome entertainment.  Visit our announcement site here: https://www.facebook.com/events/664623793631377/ for more info.

It’s time to rock your Friday night away, help a good cause, and enjoy the sensational music of Queen Ofir!

CA DREAMING LOGO

THIS WEEK’S BAR QUOTES – (from 05-21-10)

All over the world people will be reading these bar quotes.  And you are one of them!  Isn’t life grand?  And doesn’t Kahlil Gibran rock!

Patrick The Poet

THIS WEEK’S BAR QUOTES – (from 05-21-10)

Never complain and never explain.
Benjamin Disraeli

Eureka! I’ve got it.
–Archimedes

It’s very hard to be a gentleman and a writer.
W. Somerset  Maugham

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
Thomas Jefferson

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.
–Kahlil Gibran

No one knows what he can do until he tries.
Publilius Syrus, 50 BC

Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
Michael O’Brien

Mankind, when left to themselves, are unfit for their own government.
George Washington

No man can reveal to you nothing but that which already lies half-asleep
in the dawning of your knowledge.
–Kahlil Gibran

Better to get wisdom than gold.
–Bible

Superstition is an unreasoning fear of God.
–Cicero

But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts benighted walks under the mid-day sun; Himself is his own dungeon.
John Milton

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization.
Daniel Webster

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